I don't know why but people always seem to have a wrong impression of me. They tend to think I'm way better than I really am. Why? And lately I've been noticing this happening more constantly... (or maybe I just hadn't noticed before)


Here are some things people told me not so long ago:


- "You are soooo cute. You know that, don't you?"
- "I really like you, you are so inteligent..."

- "You are very gentle, polite, patient, smart..."
- "There are so many people that want you around"

- "You seem to have so many friends."
- "You know a lot about everything, you could keep talking for hours and hours..."

- "I can't understand your situation. You're such an interesting guy. How come no one can be interested in you?"


Of course these sentences came from different people. Actually it doesn't matter who said them. What matters now is to find out if there's any truth about them. I still don't think so...

There's always a first time for everything in life, right? So this morning was my first time as a film extra. Me, the same guy who is completely terrified by camcorders since the day I was born.


A great friend of mine who has recently graduated from Cinema College is now making his first film and he invited me to be an extra. This was his second invitation, since I promptly refused the first one.


Then I thought, well it's not like people will notice me on the screen, right? I'll be in the background and people will pay atention to the actors, they won't even see me! So, why not?


Not mentioning the fact that it is a good excuse to leave 'my cave' and meet new people, which is always a very nice (even if I'm currently avoiding unecessary social interatcion) thing to do.


So I arrived there, said hello to my friend who almost immediately introduced me to all the people around and when I least expected there was a girl putting make up on me! How do women stand make up, huh? It's so bloody weird to have something on your face! It really bothers! Anyway, right after make up I was given my task. I "played" a waiter who doesnt do absolutely nothing but stands behind the counter, pretending to be cleaning something. It's impressive how long they took to prepare everything and how long they took to actually film the scene. The whole scene didn't last 40 seconds.


Then I stayed to see them filming an outdoor scene at the beach. It took a while to set things up all over again and all of a sudden they needed me again. Now instead of being a waiter, I had to be just a regular man talking to 2 girls (also extras, but they were part of the production team). And this was just to hide a fat saleswoman, who didn't want to move her fat ass away from the camera. This way she won't be able to sue my friend for unauthorized use of her image in the future.


And that was pretty much it, I did two scenes in my first day ever as film extra. And as a payment I got a few biscuits and a glass of water!

So there I was in the Workshop. There was a lunch break between the first and second parts of it. Right after finishing the first part he left the stage and went straight to the back of the theatre, where his wife and his other friend were. So, I decided to go towards him.


Yes, I am being very inigmatic here, but it was just the first paragraph. Now I've just decided to let you know the details...


So there I was in Roy Z's Workshop. There was a lunch break between the first and second parts of it. Right after finishing the first part he left the stage and went straight to the back of the theatre, where his wife and my friend Renato Tribuzy (you, who read this blog know who Tribuzy is, right?) were. So, I decided to go towards him. And the most surreal thing happend:


Me: "Hi Roy. How are you doing? Very nice workshop so far."


Roy: "Hi Fernando..."


Yes, he remembered me!!!! Me, the most unimpressive person on bloody Earth. Ok, let's continue...


Roy: "Hi Fernando. How are you? I remember you. You were there in São Paulo that day at the hotel, right? So are you enjoying? Tell me the truth, please! It's not really good, is it?" (that day = almost 1 year ago)


Me: (A bit speechless at the moment, still trying to process everything in my brain) "You remember me????? How cool!!!! Sure it's good, it's GREAT so far. Btw, can we talk more at the end of the workshop. I would like to interview you to Brucefans.com. Is it possible?"


Roy: Yeah, man! But at the very end ok? Can you wait that long?


So, that was pretty much it. Almost 6 hours later I was inside the dressing room, interviewing him, having a good conversation and laughing a little too.


A couple of pics:








What a nice day!

"I just think reality TV showcases all the lowest forms of human nature. In effect, it’s a freak show," he rants. "Creativity is bound up in being eccentric, being different, not just giving the people what they want. What you need to do is to elevate things, to take things beyond the norm. Reality TV shows don’t encourage that whatsoever. They dumb everything down to horrible, uniform level of acceptable talent."


"The only people with less talent than the worst performers are actually the judges … The sight of all the judges back-slapping themselves like a pack of smug hyenas does nothing for me whatsoever," he continues. "I know people like it, but so what? I’m sure people would like watching snuff movies, too, but that doesn’t make it right."


Who is "He"? A kit-kat for the first guesser!

Sir Sean Connery once said this great sentence: "Some age, others mature". I still don't know in which part of the sentence I am...


What I know is that I'm indeed getting old, but not necessarily aging or maturing. And I don't know this by finding some white hair in my head (yes, I've already found some). I know this by finding out that some nice teachers I had in high school are dead. Two of them have just died. One died last month and the other one a few days ago. I also know that I'm getting old by finding out that very nice places where I used to hang out when I was younger, don't exist anymore. Places where I used to go with my girlfriends for example, also don't exist anymore. They're all memories now...


Now, may I ask you a question Sir Sean Connery: Can we mature without aging?


While I wait for your answer, I'll keep thinking and trying to figure out how I managed to waste 28 years of my life...


Oh, and by the way, I'm also currently avoiding unecessary social interaction at the moment. (Yes Ana, your cousin is a very wise bloke!)

I bought a new pair of trainers today. It's an Adidas Spezial.





I don't know who decided that 80s stuff is cool again, but I decided to stick with fashion this time. I guess for the first time in my life I'm flowing with what society dictates. And If by any chance I find a green version of this same trainers, I'll definetely buy them!


In addition, I've started working out again at the gym and I'm also swimming 3-5 times a week at the club (I'm now swimming almost 1000 metres per day). What harm can these things bring to me? Not a single one, I guess. And maybe, only maybe, my petite can notice me on the streets.

Is this some sort of sign? Should I be worried at all? I've had a memory lapse. Somehow I managed to forget most of the things I did from Saturday around 6 PM to Monday. Do you want examples? Here they go:


The last thing I remember from Saturday was that I went to work, I gave my classes and my pupils from the 2PM class made me a surprise birthday party and after that they gave me a ride home. I DO remember (vaguily) putting some left overs of the party in the fridge and eating while watching a little bit of TV. What did I do after this? I have no bloody idea!


On Sunday happened pretty much the same thing. I had a private class to give in the morning, however I woke up a bit late, so I left home without having breakfast. I went to my pupil's house. I DO NOT remeber what we studied that day and I DO NOT remember what I had for breakfast at his house. All I know is that I had breakfast, and that's because I always have breakfast with him on Sundays.


I also remember going to my grandmother's house to have lunch (it had been my birthday the previus day) with her and my uncles. This time I DO remember eating, talking and getting my birthdays gift. I have a vague memory of arriving home and watching some minutes of a football game on telly and that's all!


Today I had to go out, so I went to pick my car and told myself: "I must go to the gas station, coz there's no gas left in the tank". For my surprise when I started the car, the tank was full. I don't remember having filled it. And no, nobody else could have filled it, since I'm the only one who have the keys for the car.


I also want to call a friend of mine because I want to tell him something. But I do have some flashes in my mind of a conversation I had with him. But are these flashes real? are they recent? Did I call him saturday night or not? It's a mistery for me... Now I'll have to call him just to ask if I had called him on saturday night. He certainly will make fun of me...


Earlier today I saw a can of pringles in my room and thought: "Hmmm! I'll have some now". For my surprise the can was almost empty. So I asked mum: "Whose pringles is this?" She said: "It's yours! I bought it for you" And I said: "So why have you eaten half of it?" She said: "I haven't. You ate almost everything watching the game on sunday." And this is how 'the vague memories' of the football game mentioned above appeared! So I told her: "I can't remember doing this!" then I asked what else I had done on sunday and she said: "Well, you left home in a hurry in the morning to give your calss, you went straight to your grandma's place and only arrived in the middle of the afternoon. And that's when you watched TV eating pringles!" And I asked again: "What did I do after that?" She said: "You stayed in front of the pc till late at night".


Hmmmm.... Honestly, I can't remember anything!

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It took exactly one week for me to get back to real life and realize how it sucks. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I arrived in São Paulo, where I lived the perfect life for almost 4 days. Well maybe the word perfect is too strong here. Let's say I lived a dream life for 4 days, I guess it's better this way.


To make things worse my birthday is arriving. God, I hate my birthday! What are all those forced phone calls from false people we recieve on birthdays? I wish I could skip this day, you know? Or at least be unreachable from tomorrow till the 9th or 10th, this way I would also avoid some late calls. You can add this to all that feeling of wasted time. What have I done in the last 28 years? Pretty much nothing. And the sensation of already being old enough for not trying certain new things? Even worse...


The Rio Film Festival started 2 weeks ago and I haven't watched as many films as I wanted. In fact I only watched 2, which is very few if you compare to previous years. This is due to lack of money, lack of willing to leave 'my cave', etc.


One last comment: The new Iron Maiden World Tour started yesterday in New Jersey. I looked at those pics:
http://public.fotki.com/sasha555/heavy_metal_experience/iron-maiden--new-do/



earlier today and they made me drool for a couple of minutes. The bad thing is that my sixth sense tells me there won't be a South America tour this time...